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Was That Bad Mothering?

Disability rights advocate Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg says that Liza Long, the woman who wrote the much-discussed “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” post the other day, ought to be ashamed of herself. Excerpt: She is comparing her child to mass murderers. In public. Under her own name. On the Internet. For the world to see. Her 13-year-old […]

Disability rights advocate Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg says that Liza Long, the woman who wrote the much-discussed “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” post the other day, ought to be ashamed of herself. Excerpt:

She is comparing her child to mass murderers. In public. Under her own name. On the Internet. For the world to see.

Her 13-year-old son.

I’m not even going to speak to the issues that the article raises about the mental health system. I can’t even get that far because I’m so appalled that any mother, a day after 20 children are killed, would use her own name to write about her 13-year-old son and suggest that her son is like the person who killed them. There isn’t any moment when it’s appropriate to compromise a child’s privacy in that way. But when people are raw, and hurting, and scared, that’s a moment when it ought to be perfectly obvious that you don’t do it.

I’m even more appalled that so very few adults seem to care about the potential impact on her son. She is either getting kudos all around for being so brave, so honest, so real, or she is being called out for being retrograde in her attitudes about mental illness and violence. But very few have commented about the effect on her son. It’s as though they’ve written him off. He’s just a talking point. A springboard for discussion. An avatar of people’s worst fears.

But not a child struggling.

He will know about his mother’s post. So will everyone who knows his mother: his teachers, his schoolmates, his friends, his neighbors, his community members. So will millions of strangers. How exactly does this article enhance her son’s functioning? His mental state? His sense of safety? His ability to navigate the world?

Point taken.

 

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