From The Onion:

RENTON, WA—Local man Paul Campbell confirmed Saturday he was raising his daughter Emma on a variety of media carefully selected to help her cultivate an appreciation for artistic quality, a move that will reportedly put the 12-year-old girl hopelessly out of touch with her generation.

Perusing his music and film collections and showing reporters distinctive, well-regarded works that will thoroughly alienate Emma from her sixth-grade classmates, Campbell said he wanted to make sure his daughter enjoyed the benefits of a cultural education he never received at her age.

“Back then, I listened to junk like Journey and watched crappy movies like Iron Eagle,” the 41-year-old said in reference to popular music and films of the 1980s that allowed him to have something to talk about with friends. “I wish my own dad had turned me on to the good stuff, so I wouldn’t have had to wait until I was in my 20s before I started digging anything halfway decent.”

“Well, I’m not making the same mistake he did,” Campbell continued as he pulled out vinyl copies of Television’s Marquee Moon, Miles Davis’ Sketches Of Spain, and Big Star’s #1 Record, highly influential albums that will in no way help his daughter interact with her peers at a particularly delicate time in her social development. “There’s a lot of cool stuff out there, and it’s never too early to start learning what’s worth your time. I’m just glad I have the know-how to guide her.”

Go to the story and look at the photo illustration. Yeah.

Well, look, I plead guilty to introducing my 15 year old son Matthew to the Talking Heads, but he fell in love with them all on his own. It was his idea to dress as David Byrne from the 1984 Stop Making Sense tour and movie. He asked his mom to make a Big Suit, and she did. I couldn’t possibly have been prouder. I gave him my framed Stop Making Sense film poster, signed by each one of the Talking Heads. It sits over his bed now.

UPDATE: The software cut off the whole photo. Here it is: