Reader Johnny Silence has given me a very great blessing indeed. Look:
The Internet—the global system of interconnected networks that’s become an increasingly central means of commerce and communication capable of bringing far-flung civilizations together—reached its apex this week, after a man claiming to be the fiancé of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic character Twilight Sparkle contacted a user of online community DeviantArt to demand he stop drawing sexual pictures of his imaginary pony-bride. The request was made in a letter that was then published in full on the Internet, which no longer has any reason to exist, having achieved everything it has ever set out to do.
“I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around you would request that your clop artist friends (who like to give you sexually oriented pony art as gifts) draw some pony other than Twilight Sparkle for you,” one grown man typed to another, using the system developed through decades of work by British scientists and military contractors. Their dedication paid off in their descendants’ easy access to forums where other, similarly pioneering men could discuss their love for a cartoon pony show, even forging bold new identities as “bronies,” as well as explore virtual art galleries in which those ponies are drawn engaging in erotic acts—all without ever leaving their homes. This, after all, may have led to social situations where caring so intensely about cartoon ponies might have been discouraged.
Read the entire sweetly indignant letter from Twiley’s fiancé here. Then go back to bed, because there’s really no reason to go on. That is all.