Rod Dreher

Affection and the Light Within

Tebow in the Lion’s Den

By Rod Dreher • April 25, 2012, 12:47 AM

Can you imagine being the sort of person who has a soul as corrupt as Noel Biderman’s? Look:

Jets quarterback Tim Tebow has steadfastly maintained he is a virgin living the high-profile life of a professional athlete.

Well, controversial website AshleyMadison.com apparently wants to challenge one of Tebow’s core beliefs. They’re offering up big money to any woman who can prove she has slept with the NFL sensation.

… Ashley Madison provides matches for those seeking an extramarital affair. The company is described on its homepage as the “most recognized name in infidelity.”

… “Sports and sex (and of course, infidelity) go hand in hand,” site founder Noel Biderman said in a statement, according to Rovell. “If Mr. Tebow is indeed abstaining from adult relationships, I would encourage him to find a nice lady or two and enjoy his youth and fame as much as possible.”

The offer will run through Tebow’s first season in New York, Rovell reported.

“I guarantee that no man of Tebow’s stature could survive a season in New York without succumbing to the temptations of the city,” said Biderman.

Catholic blogger A.G. Harmon at Image Journal writes:

And for that reason I admire Tim Tebow, for the joy he takes in being what he is, for the joy with which he loves his savior. It doesn’t seem a burden to him. He wears his belief proudly and bears it lightly. He tells people without blush that he doesn’t do all of the things that the world says a man of his age—let alone his size, success, talent—should do. That takes real courage, to defy—however politely—the conventional stand.

So in Tebow we see the example of a true rebel, a real iconoclast, one set against mainstream critics who are pathetically conformist in their opinions of him, and who operate under a hilarious lack of self-awareness.

It is they who march in lock-step to the permissible orthodoxies of their age. They are the establishment; he the outlier. They risk nothing; he risks all.

Keep going Tim. Be brave. Be brave.

Amen. Amen!

33 Responses to Tebow in the Lion’s Den

Monterey says:

April 25, 2012 at 1:39 am

This is why I like this guy so much.
And I wish the men of America would realize how many women are beyond-eager to date a man with this much virtue and manliness. You don’t have to be an NFL player to be that, either. But we need a lot more men like this in the world. Parents of young women everywhere are hoping their daughter brings home a guy like this. And many women are just waiting for a prince like this to sweep them off their feet.
Sam M says:

April 25, 2012 at 6:00 am

Interesting that the only thing that qualifies as an “adult relationship” is “sex with groupies.”

At any rate, the notion that he could have made it this far but could never survive the temptations of NYC seems ludicrous. Ever been to the University of Florida? He was a bigger star there than anyone could conceivably be in any other place, and the signal/noise ration of nubile women/ general population is so off the charts as to approach the ludicrous.
BenSix says:

April 25, 2012 at 6:48 am

Noel Biderman seems to be representative of many things wrong with 21st Century culture: fame on the basis of no talent beyond self-promotion; a frivolous glee in his own supposed transgressiveness and, yes, a taste in very bad shirts. This made me laugh, though…

As the face of AshleyMadison.com, Noel has often been referred to as “The King of Infidelity.” He even published a book called Cheaters Prosper: How Infidelity Will Save The Modern Marriage. In truth, he is a family man who is happily married with two children.

So let me get this straight: he wants people to ruin their marriages but thinks it’s admirable that he’s maintained his?
John M. says:

April 25, 2012 at 7:55 am

Yes, Biderman is a nasty cynic. But I really wish Tebow would follow Matthew 6 and “pray in secret.” Making a show of piety and praying for success on the football field cheapens the practice of prayer, IMHO.
Calidali says:

April 25, 2012 at 7:56 am

I think Harmon hit on something key: the JOY with which Tebow seems to live his life! Do you think that’s a reason why so many people don’t like him? Because he lives his convictions with such joy that the rest of us can’t seem to muster?

There is the concept of Christian hedonism and it goes something like this: God created the world out of joy (not need) and, therefore, God’s intent for our us is to live lives of unmitigated joy as well (we are created in his image, after all). As a result, the “laws” of the Bible (the Ten Commandments, etc) are not intended to suppress our happiness, but to expand our joy. In the context of Christian theology, this means that, to the extent we seek relationship with Jesus, Biblical laws – including sexual mores – will result in our joy and we are free to become Christian hedonists.

Perhaps this is why, in Proverbs, David describes commandments as a “lamp” and “the way of life.” In Psalms, he says that he delights in the law and meditates on it as well.

Could it be that, in the context of a real relationship with Jesus, Tebow has found great joy in curbing his sexual desires in a manner that comports with orthodox Judeo-Christian theology?

Maybe Cowboy great Roger Staubach (a Catholic) was on to something similar when he was compared to Joe Namath in this interview from back in 1975: http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YqLWQ0oHhBE&gl=US
DeeAnn says:

April 25, 2012 at 8:05 am

I have a great deal of respect for Tim Tebow. All this chatter about his beliefs is so odd to me. I guess I live in a bubble as well because in my circle this is the norm (virginity until marriage) I have 5 siblings and the youngest any of them was married was age 24 and we were all virgins when we married. Same with most of my friends. There really is getting to be a great divide among society.
Brian says:

April 25, 2012 at 8:09 am

“I guarantee that no man of Tebow’s stature could survive a season in New York without succumbing to the temptations of the city”

Too funny. Mr. Biderman needs to get out more. Someone who could withstand the temptations that come with being the star quarterback at the number one party school in the nation isn’t going to bat an eyelash at little ol’ NYC.
baconboy says:

April 25, 2012 at 8:10 am

Speaking as someone who lived in Gainesville for almost ten years, I can guarantee that Tebow won’t run into anything in New York that he hadn’t seen before. Heck, the women in Gainesville will have been younger and hotter than those in NY. I’m not worried about him at all.
The question is, who is being countercultural here?
Bill says:

April 25, 2012 at 8:38 am

“abstaining from adult relationships” ?!?!?!?
This has to be the most hideous euphemism I have read in a long time. I gagged.
Matt says:

April 25, 2012 at 8:46 am

Remember, Mr. Dreher, your musing about the role of the “freak” in Southern society, from a few months back? Maybe urban Yankee places have their “freaks,” too. (I mean this in the nicest possible way and bear Mr. Tebow no ill will.)
Jon says:

April 25, 2012 at 9:07 am

Wow, this is going to make it almost impossible for Tim Tebow to interact with any woman who is not already rich without suspicion.
Naturalmom says:

April 25, 2012 at 9:12 am

This is sickening.

First, because people are delighting in trying to get someone to directly go against his conscience. I don’t care if you don’t agree with Tebow’s stance on pre-marital sex — it’s *his* stance, *his* bar he has set for himself, and his living by it isn’t hurting anyone. Only a pretty degenerate person would try to get someone to go against their personal beliefs in this way. (How about all the NFL players who believe it would be wrong to tackle someone off the field? Should we send hoards of big-mouth jerks to follow them around and try to provoke them to tackle them? This Tebow temptation thing is just as stupid and even more sad.)

Second, his sex life is his private business and people should stay out of it as long as he’s doing no one harm. If he’s chosen to talk about it in certain venues for whatever reasons, that’s his choice, but it doesn’t mean he looses control over it in general. This is a basic feminist principle, is it not? It applies to men too.
astorian says:

April 25, 2012 at 9:41 am

I’ve long been on record as being a conservative Catholic who LIKES Tim Tebow but just doesn’t think he’s a very good NFL quarterback.

Now that that’s out of the way, what I really wonder is… where is Ashley madison REALLY making its money? I cna’t buy for a minute that they’re really profiting via the service they claim to be providing.

So, are they a front for something else? If so, what?
John E says:

April 25, 2012 at 9:44 am

Oh that dreamy Tim Tebow – is there nothing he can’t do?

Come on guys, he’s a grown man who get an absurd amount of money and attention for playing a kids game.
Floridan says:

April 25, 2012 at 9:47 am

I’ve been following Tim Tebow since he was a high school player and am proud that he chose to attend the University of Florida (my alma mater).

While TT and I probably differ on many spiritual issues, what I admire about him is his humble attitude. He goes about living his faith without castigating those who might not live up to his personal standards. I’ve never heard him refer to anyone as a “slut,” “anti-Christian”, or other demeaning characterization.

So I can put up with what I would consider excessive displays of religiosity. Why not? They don’t hurt me.
SteveM says:

April 25, 2012 at 10:15 am

Rod,

CBS took Reptile Biderman’s bait by posting that story. And you took Biderman’s bait by linking to the CBS site.

Tebow’s private life is well…private. The embedded subtext that should be played is that supposedly legitimate news organizations post stories that are not news at all, but rather planted PR droppings for grease balls like Biderman.
Pete S says:

April 25, 2012 at 10:17 am

Why do so many people seem to want to tear down Tim Tebow the person? Obviously most of the people doing so have never met him but from an outside perspective he seems to be very genuine in what he says and believes. He has chosen to be a professional athlete which will necessarily involve living in the spotlight, but actually trying to interfere with his beliefs is going way too far.

Is it possible that some of this personal negativity is a pushback against his supporters who seem to believe that his beliefs somehow make him a good quarterback? Folks, he is not a great (or good) quarterback and pretending he is does not help him at all. Being a good Christian does not mean that he deserves a chance to be a rich athlete.
Scott in PA says:

April 25, 2012 at 10:33 am

I do wonder why Tebow isn’t married yet.

There’s usually a reason why an attractive, wealthy, young man delays marriage.
Sean says:

April 25, 2012 at 10:37 am

Noel Biderman is certainly a sneering ingrate for this, but I have to grant that this is Ashley Madison’s wheelhouse. No surprise there whatsoever.

Biderman’s also really stupid if he thinks that what the 18 year-old Tim managed to avoid as the BMOC at a giant party school will bring him down six years later in NYC, especially now that most of the civilized world knows about his conviction in this regard. I say this as someone who thinks that consensual sex is good for you, no matter your legal status.
DS says:

April 25, 2012 at 10:56 am

Having been to Gainesville and NYC, I found the former a more daunting gantlet. I’m glad to see others agree.
Chris Jones says:

April 25, 2012 at 11:08 am

I apologize for being both off-topic and nitpicking, but this phrasing by the “Catholic blogger” brought me up short:

in Tebow we see the example of … a real iconoclast

Doesn’t Harmon know that, for a Catholic, an “iconoclast” is not a good thing (i.e., a heretic)? I think I’d have chosen “truly counter-cultural.”
TT says:

April 25, 2012 at 11:14 am

Scott – What are you trying to say. Be explicit.

That is cowardly.
Brian says:

April 25, 2012 at 11:16 am

Scott: Seriously? In 2012, the best thing you can think of is to say “You know, I bet Tebow is GAY!1!!11!!!” That’s just sad, dude.
Scott in PA says:

April 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm

…the best thing you can think of is to say “You know, I bet Tebow is GAY!1!!11!!!” That’s just sad, dude.

Is gay the answer to everything around here?

I think it’s sad that you’re unaware of the main reason why young attractive wealthy men delay marriage – so they can play the field before being committed to one woman, if they are inclined to feel so committed.

I know gay, and Tebow ain’t gay.
Dave D says:

April 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Except Ashely is more right than not. He’s young, handsome, single, and in a culture which encourages hookups while surrounded by many of the world’s most beautiful women. If I were Tebow I’d be thinking now about whether or not I want to get married and I’d also be putting safeguards in front of me to prevent me from sinning.

This is good in a way because I’m sure Tebow hasn’t really thought about it. Many Christian young people coast on parental involvement until it’s removed, and that’s where the temptation hits.
davidh says:

April 25, 2012 at 12:25 pm

“I guarantee that no man of Tebow’s stature could survive a season in New York without succumbing to the temptations of the city,” said Biderman.

Hollow words. If Biderman really believed what he pretends to believe, he would offer, say, ten to one odds, promising to pay $10,000,000 to the charity of Tebow’s choice if no one wins the million he is offering to a successful seductress
Sands says:

April 25, 2012 at 1:05 pm

“There’s usually a reason why an attractive, wealthy, young man delays marriage.”

Maybe he just gets a kick out of people obsessing over his sex life.
Brian says:

April 25, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Scott: Right. Sure. That’s what you meant. Even though it makes absolutely no sense at all to have been coy about such a thing. Whatever, dude.
Church Lady says:

April 25, 2012 at 1:32 pm

… where is Ashley madison REALLY making its money? I cna’t buy for a minute that they’re really profiting via the service they claim to be providing.
So, are they a front for something else? If so, what?

Could it be….Satan?
Erin Manning says:

April 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Biderman, to me, has the moral stature of a slave trader of the early 1800s, a contemporary drug dealer, or a pimp of any era. The man makes his living (allegedly) profiting on the misery of others and the deliberate destruction of marriages and families. The culture is full of stories of women whose lives, homes and marriages were destroyed by the skanky infidelities of their husbands (to say nothing of the charming venereal diseases the innocent wives end up suffering from for the rest of their lives). And, yes, sometimes it goes the other way–sometimes the woman is the faithless skank, and the husband is the one shattered by the revelation that he’s raising someone else’s child among his own kids. Creating a website for the sole (alleged) purpose of making it easier for the skanks out there to betray or cuckold their spouses is so textbook an example of the morally reprehensible as to seem almost contrived, even in our terminally ill culture.

I have plenty of respect for people like Tebow who resist this cultural insanity. Heck, I have respect for young people who *try* to live chaste lives, even if they fail and have to try all over again. I have not, do not, and never will respect people who cheat on their spouses. There is no excuse for such cowardly and contemptible behavior–and it’s one reason why the sight of my fellow conservatives fawning all over so-called “leaders” who actively betrayed their own marriages disgusts me.

As for Biderman himself: I don’t think it’s possible for me to put into words the depths of my negative feelings about a person so committed to evil without violating my own standards of civility. Suffice it to say that he will reap what he sows either in this life or, if he doesn’t repent, in the next.
AnotherBeliever says:

April 25, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I don’t care a thing for football, and precious little for celebrity. But it’s not impossible that no one will come forward. And if that happens, more power to Tim Tebow. It may draw some attention to the fact that not every American is engaging in extensive pre-marital sex. Indeed a fair number are not involved in any. This would be bracing and encouraging for all of them.

However, how on earth do they expect to corroborate or disprove the claims of any woman who steps forward?
Hector_St_Clare says:

April 26, 2012 at 12:30 am

Re: However, how on earth do they expect to corroborate or disprove the claims of any woman who steps forward?

You really can’t. Which is why, generally, making false statements about other people’s sex lives is generally a nasty thing to do, precisely because (among other things) it can’t really ever be proven or disproven, but once the claim is out there, it’s out there.

I generally agree with Natural Mom. Whether or not you agree with Tim Tebow’s values about sex, they’re his values, and tempting someone to go against their conscience is a pretty low thing to do. Then again, this is Ashley Madison we’re talking about.
astorian says:

April 26, 2012 at 6:45 am

“Maybe … Satan?”

——–

Nah, you misunderstand me completely. My question is whether Biderman REALLY has as many clients or as much money as he pretends. I know there are lots of people, on the left AND the Right, who have no problem believing Ashley MAdison has the 100 million clients Biderman claims, and that the world is crawling with people dying to pay him money to have an affair.

I just don’t buy it. I think he’s a huckster and a fraud. I just haven’t figured out what his REAL angle is or where he’s REALLY making his money.

Face it- WOMEN who want to play around don’t NEED a “Service” like Biderman’s! So, either he’s got 100 million male clients all vying for his handful of female clients… or he’s full of crap.

I vote for full of crap.