I think the city of New York should just encircle Brooklyn’s Park Slope neighborhood with a fence and call it a zoo. New York magazine reports:

Park Slope will stop at nothing to become the galaxy’s most ridiculed neighborhood.

A rag-tag team of Prospect Park volunteers who call themselves the Litter Mob have constructed a 50-foot path leading to the “Vale of Cashmere,” a heavily wooded section that is a popular destination for public sex. Why? The path is intended to direct cruisers to sex rather than the delicate plants surrounding the Midwood section of the park. The path will prevent soil erosion and protect tree roots from people walking back and forth from the “Vale.”

“I don’t care if people have sex, but all the little trails they leave behind are really bad for the forest floor,” explained Marie Viljoen, Litter Mob’s founder.

Brooklyn Paper reports:

The group spent two hours last week with the Prospect Park Alliance’s natural resource team, hauling dead tree limbs to flank the path to pleasure. They then dug grooves in the soil and staked them into place.

The refurbished path makes it easier to reach the outdoor sex spot, but visitors should know that those who make the most of the Midwood could still find themselves facing charges of public lewdness.

Verily, verily I say unto you, as long as any gay Brooklynite must trample the face of Gaia, and risk criminal charges for pursuing nookie in a public park, we are all of us in chains.