Rod Dreher

When Atheists Make It Easy To Hate Them

Overheard At Thanksgiving

By Rod Dreher • November 21, 2012, 11:26 PM

A friend was over tonight as we were getting started making food for Thanksgiving. Pal said, as part of a discussion of events in the life of a mutual friend I hadn’t seen in ages:

“This time they’re going to have a real wedding, not another funeral home deal.”

Naturally I asked for an explanation, after which I thanked the Baby Jesus that I live in the South.

I would very much like it if you readers would keep track of unintentionally amusing or just plain crackpot things you overhear at your Thanksgiving get-togethers. Humor me.

Posted in The South. Tagged funeral, quotes, Thanksgiving, wedding.

13 Responses to Overheard At Thanksgiving

Sands says:

November 22, 2012 at 12:06 am

I was at a Thanksgiving dinner about fifteen years. We we’re all eating and watching football when the hosts announced that they were getting married right then and there. Preacher came in and performed the service while I was pigging out on those little pecan pie things.
Tmatt says:

November 22, 2012 at 7:44 am

Dude. You don’t live in the South. You live in Louisiana. That’s its own parallel universe.
Texasaggiemom says:

November 22, 2012 at 7:48 am

Okay–you must explain that one!
Franklin Evans says:

November 22, 2012 at 9:35 am

Must have been 40 years ago… my mother had gone upstairs for some necessary indisposition, immediately followed by my siblings and I (including a spouse) fighting a whipped cream battle. It was epic. It miraculously wound down before my mother’s return, and said spouse had just removed his finger jewelry (prior to cleaning said fingers) when my mother’s footsteps could be heard descending the stairs. The room emptied in a flash, and from our hiding places we all heard her clearly shout: “And whose ring is this?”
KateLE says:

November 22, 2012 at 9:58 am

This was not actually Thanksgiving, but I think it should count:
“I don’t really understand why this electrical college gets to choose the President anyway. Why did we vote?” From a 50 year old woman. Thinks: stay quiet, keep eating, make sure the wine bottle is always close at hand.
Bugg says:

November 22, 2012 at 10:35 am

What the hell is Paul Lind doing in your centerpiece?

Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Carl Lowland says:

November 22, 2012 at 11:08 am

One hour ago-

“We no longer watch football. It’s boring and predictable. We like soccer now.”
Charles Cosimano says:

November 22, 2012 at 11:56 am

I can think of many people whose head I would like to have on a platter but Paul Lind??

My grandparents had a very old dining table and one Thanksgiving dinner my father did not properly set the folding leaf right, causing his plate to come cascading down onto his lap. My mother immediately said, “Dinner’s on you, dear.”
David J. White says:

November 22, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Sometimes I think *I* live in a parallel universe. I keep hearing and reading about all these families who have some sort of drama during their holiday get-togethers, and I’m afraid I just can’t relate to that. In my family we did our own thing until it was time for dinner (except for those helping to prepare it), then ate, then scattered (except for those helping to clean up). Maybe it comes from having a small family (particularly since extended family mostly lived out of town and was rarely seen, even on holidays), as well as one that never cared much for mixing dinner with conversation of *any* kind.
MH - Secular Misanthropist says:

November 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I’m fairly certain that the Paul Lind photo is from Bewitched.
Pat says:

November 23, 2012 at 9:28 am

The news in this neck of the woods is that wild turkeys have moved into the neighborhood. One of them was featured in the morning paper, in a photo taken right before the woman of the house stepped out and fed it a box of cornbread stuffing mix.

BTW, I thought of making that stuffed pumpkin recipe but at the last minute changed my mind. Good thing, because my guests brought two of them! They were just as delicious as you claimed.
Bugg says:

November 23, 2012 at 11:16 am

You are wrong, Mr. Lowland. The New York Jets always find new and bizarre ways to lose football games. A quarterback running into his own 6’6″ offensive lineman on his team who is trying to block a 400-pound defensive lineman is a new twist on fumbling never seen before.
Bob Jones says:

November 23, 2012 at 1:33 pm

OK. This isn’t something I heared at the table, but something a cousin shared, and thought I would share as well.

For those of you familiar with the Turducken, this is a new way of preparing a Turkey. A Turdunkin:

http://unwholesomefoods.com/2010/05/22/turdunkin/

The turDunkin’ is a turkey brined in Dunkin’ Donuts coolattas, stuffed with munchkins and served with coffee gravy and mashed hash browns. The turDunkin’ should not be confused with the hot meaty mess that is a turducken, which is a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken.