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Miss Lulu White surfaces!

I wrote yesterday about the sexy scarecrow that went missing from a mustard greens patch in Starhill. Well, sources say she has a name — Lulu White — and she apparently sent an e-mail to Mr. Ronnie to let him know that she had not been kidnapped, but had run away because she was — […]

I wrote yesterday about the sexy scarecrow that went missing from a mustard greens patch in Starhill. Well, sources say she has a name — Lulu White — and she apparently sent an e-mail to Mr. Ronnie to let him know that she had not been kidnapped, but had run away because she was — how to put this? — lonely. I cannot reproduce the e-mail here on a family website — Lulu is one bitter piece of latex — but below, I reproduce one of the photos taken of her getaway. I cropped the thing so you can’t see Miss Lulu’s, um, perpetually Mr. Bill-like visage — again, family website — but this is the last known anyone saw of her as she fled her garden in a quest for true love. If you see this woman in your part of the country, please call the authorities. This is a tragedy. An old man is missing his scarecrow, and the deer are probably now going to devour his garden. I knew we never should’ve given women the vote.

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