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Louisiana, The Gulf Will Fart Your Doom!

A prophetess by the name of Linda Newkirk received this revelation from the Almighty. Excerpt: Now, you do not see again what is happening to you!  For, the great frozen methane lake, which is beneath the Gulf of Mexico, is quickly melting!  The heat of the seeping oil, which is pouring into the frozen lake, […]

A prophetess by the name of Linda Newkirk received this revelation from the Almighty. Excerpt:

Now, you do not see again what is happening to you!  For, the great frozen methane lake, which is beneath the Gulf of Mexico, is quickly melting!  The heat of the seeping oil, which is pouring into the frozen lake, is melting this great lake of frozen methane!

Yes, you watch in amazement as these methane bubbles come to the surface and some of you are surprised at the shifting of your homes. But, hear Me! For, you have seen nothing yet! This gas is finding its own exits!

A great volume of methane gas is pushing upwards and is seeking to find its own vents!  As more of this gas pushes its way to the surface, there will come a shifting in the subterranean land masses. There shall come a subsequent shifting in the lands, both beneath the Gulf of Mexico, and even for some distance from the Gulf of Mexico!

Some of these land displacements will be great with ensuing earthquakes.  But, the earthquakes will not compare to the unexpected explosions, and in many areas, unparalleled deaths of humans, animals and aquatic life and yes, even birds and other life forms!

Oh, you people of Louisiana, you would not listen!  I have sent you two very great calamities and now comes a third. So great shall be your suffering! The stench, the stink of the dying shall be so great!  And, many will say, “Who is going to Louisiana?”  For, the explosions and the dying shall be so great among you!

And, when you see these terrible things hit Louisiana, know that this is My third, great judgment against this wicked state. It is a haughty state! It is full of idol worship and witchcrafts; and those in the churches will not obey Me. They will not walk in humility before Me. For, their song is, “How great I am!”

But, I tell you, oh state of Louisiana, you are a cancer!  You are a grievous sore in My face!  You are a great blot upon the face of the whole earth; and I will erase you!

I will continue in My judgments against you; and I will continue to plead with you to repent through My great judgements, until I erase your very existence! For, you are rotten, oh state of Louisiana! You are rotten to the core and I will no longer allow this evil before My face!

Clearly this woman is onto something. Anyone who quotes from the earlier prophecy of someone called Duduman is obviously on the level. But as usual, The Simpsons got there first.

(All kidding aside, that sinkhole water video is strange.)

 

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