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Let Us Speak Of Collards

So, my father brought over a mess of collard greens this afternoon. His neighbor gave them to him; it’s the last of the winter greens. Time to plant the spring garden. I made my dad a toddy and we sat on the porch and tore the thick leaves from the stems, and discussed the matter […]
Mess of collards in my pot tonight
Mess of collards in my pot tonight

So, my father brought over a mess of collard greens this afternoon. His neighbor gave them to him; it’s the last of the winter greens. Time to plant the spring garden. I made my dad a toddy and we sat on the porch and tore the thick leaves from the stems, and discussed the matter of eating collards. They are the Laphroaig of greens, by which I mean they have a very strong, distinct taste. Collards are not terribly popular, because of their relative bitterness — relative, I mean, to mustard greens or turnip greens, which are much more delicate and delicious. Put another way, turnip greens are the Legolas, mustard greens are the Aragorn, and collards are the Gimli of the greens family. I hope I have made that clear.

Nevertheless, I managed to make a couple of delicious things tonight with the collards. I made a pot of collards stewed in a ham hock broth, with onion, garlic, cayenne, and an Ethiopian spice mix that includes ginger and cumin. Not too bad. Technically I’m not supposed to be eating meat right now, but I’m not a rigorist, and I didn’t figure a smoked ham hock broth was really that big a sin. I really liked, though, the lentil soup I made with onions, garlic, various spices, and chopped collards. It’s so rich and filling. I’m the only one who eats collards in my house, so I’m going to package a lot of this up and take them to my dad, who eats them as well (my mom passes).

What I really need is some homemade cornbread.

Though collards are the lowest on the totem pole of traditional Southern greens, I do love greens. Love them! There’s only a handful of dishes that remind me intensely of home, and greens absolutely make the cut. Turnip greens are my favorite, with their roots, and bacon or ham. But even the lowly, rough collard is better than no greens at all.

Any collard greens fans among the readership? Southerners, check in.

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