Overheard just now in the coffee shop:

“She has so many fails. The first fail is that she owes $50,000 for law school, and can’t pass the bar. She’s taken it 10 times. The second fail is that she dated this guy for 17 years before she figured out that he wasn’t going to ask her to marry him. Then she got involved with this guy who did ask her to marry him, but then it turned out that he had this secret family in Arkansas, and was into group sex and all kinds of weird stuff. So that was her third fail. Then her grandmother, who had some money set aside for her, told her, ‘I guess you’re not going to be getting married, so you don’t need it,’ and gave the money to somebody else. That was the fourth fail.”

It could always be worse, brother!