I expect Fred Gion and Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry to launch a full-scale investigation into this scandal:

Recent figures merely confirm what has been observed for years, that the number of regular drinkers of wine in France is in freefall.

In 1980 more than half of adults were consuming wine on a near-daily basis. Today that figure has fallen to 17%.

Meanwhile, the proportion of French people who never drink wine at all has doubled to 38%.

Good grief. How far you have fallen, France. More:

“What has happened is a progressive erosion of wine’s identity, and of its sacred and imaginary representations,” say the report’s authors, Thierry Lorey and Pascal Poutet.

Niall Gooch, who sent me this alarming report, says that line “might just be the most French sentence I’ve ever read.” Vraiment!

Look, France, if you need help getting those numbers back up, I remain at your disposal. Send the Air France tickets, and I’ll be over as soon as I can.