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Modern Marriage

Getting hitched in the First World in the 21st Century

A lesbian Jew and a lesbian Catholic decide to get married. And then they checked with the rabbi:

So one Sabbath morning, they approached the rabbi at their Boston-area synagogue, a liberal congregation unaffiliated with any particular branch of Judaism.

“We were really confident it was going to be this rabbi,” Ms. Spiegelman, 29, said, sitting in the condominium that she and her fiancée recently bought.

But the rabbi told them that she could not perform the wedding. The problem was not that Ms. Spiegelman wanted to marry a woman — it was that she wanted to marry a non-Jewish woman.

“In retrospect, I can’t believe we were so naïve and trusting,” Ms. Spiegelman said. “We were so excited to tell her we were engaged and wanted her to do our wedding, and she was like, ‘I don’t do that.’ ”

“That was a real blow to us,” she said as their cat, Laurie (named for the “Little Women” character), moved about the cozy living room. “We’d understood that she perceived our relationship as legitimate and would see our marriage as legitimate. And it really hurt us to be rejected for that reason.”

So the rabbi will marry same-sex partners, but not interfaith partners.

We live in interesting times.

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