Dallas Observer columnist Jim Schutze is a long time non-fan of my work, but I gotta hand it to him: when he’s on target, he’s great. In this column, he slices, dices, and juliennes a deserving subject. Here’s how it starts:

District Attorney Faith Johnson fired Jody Warner, 32, an experienced assistant prosecutor, on Monday after Johnson reviewed an audio recording of Warner drunkenly threatening and abusing 26-year-old Uber driver Shaun Platt over the weekend. In a press conference Tuesday, Warner set some kind of new world record for the least apologetic apology since Donald Trump did Access Hollywood.

Bad enough. But wait. Worse than Trump. Way worse. Through tears and much wiping of the nose, Warner made a completely off-the-wall gratuitous suggestion that Platt, the driver, was some kind of sexual predator and that’s why she got upset. That would have been like Trump saying he had to grab women there in order to proactively protect himself from personal violation.

“Oh my God, you’re an idiot. You are a legitimate retard,” Warner told Platt on a recording he made after he called the cops because she refused to haul her drunken self out his car.  “We can hang out. I’m not scared,” she says.

Plus, get this: Warner, an experienced prosecutor of crimes, cried all the way through her press conference, but she also brought along Elizabeth Frizell, an ex-judge who will oppose Faith Johnson in the next election. So this was like a crying, confessional, tragic campaign event.

At the press conference, the candidate, Frizell, also piled on with the lurid sexual innuendos. The Dallas Morning News quotes Frizell as saying, “When you have a prosecutor who has tried sex assault cases for almost a decade, you know the signs. Her concern was heightened.”

No, her drunk-ass horrible behavior was heightened. She is on the audio recording telling Platt, “You’re so stupid I want the cops to come so they can f**k you up.”

He is on the recording he made saying “I am asking you politely to please …”

But she cuts him off: “Now I’m pissed the f**k off.”

See. This is why younger men are afraid to come forward when powerful women abuse them. Powerful women don’t know how to swear.

It gets so much better as Schutze takes this horrible Warner person and her press conference apart. For example, he writes, addressing Warner, who pathetically tried to paint herself as a frightened victim of a male Uber driver who, in her telling, might have been a Millennial Harvey Weinstein:

A man in your position would not get away with your behavior at the press conference. He would not be able to stand in front of the cameras, wipe away tears and make all kinds of simpering little-boy-lost sexual suggestions about the woman he had just drunkenly and verbally abused on tape.

Read the whole thing. It’s worth it.