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Build It Big, Mitt

The New York Times is losing its damn mind over Mitt Romney. Look at what they’re now writing about him: On Dunemere Drive, it seems as if just about everyone has a gripe against the owners of No. 311. The elderly woman next door complains that her car is constantly boxed into her driveway. A […]

The New York Times is losing its damn mind over Mitt Romney. Look at what they’re now writing about him:

On Dunemere Drive, it seems as if just about everyone has a gripe against the owners of No. 311.

The elderly woman next door complains that her car is constantly boxed into her driveway. A few houses over, a gay couple grumbles that their beloved ocean views are in jeopardy. And down the street, a widow grouses that her children’s favorite dog-walking route has been disrupted.

It’s a piece about how rich La Jolla people are complaining about what the Romneys are doing to their house there. So Mitt hates the elderly, homosexuals, and widows, is what the Times is saying.

You have to read the whole story to believe it. It’s a disgrace that’s so far beyond serious it’s almost funny. The Times reporter uses this wealthy suburban neighborhood pissing match as a stand-in for everything they judge that’s bad about Mitt Romney. Get this graf:

But many of the residents of this exclusive tract in La Jolla say they are rankled by what they see from their decks and patios as the Romneys’ blindness to their impact on the neighborhood. And personal politics is fueling their frustration as much as anything else, several days of interviews with about a dozen residents suggest.

The Times spent several days and talked to a dozen people to write a story about how these prisspots hate the Romneys. How petty are they? Look:

Three houses away from Mr. Romney is Mark Quint, a Democrat who said that he is tired of watching neighboring homeowners bulldoze small beach houses to make way for McMansions, fearing a “nightmare of construction.” He sees a discrepancy in Mr. Romney’s ambitious renovation plan.

“The only thing he wants small is government and taxes,” Mr. Quint said. “He likes big houses, big families and big religion.”

I am normally against McMansions, but in this case, I say: Build it big, Mitt. Build it big and obnoxious, just to spite these pluperfect jackasses. If you send pay my way, I will drive a big ol’ RV — one with all kinds of Jesusland stickers on the back — across the country a week before Christmas park it on the street outside, and in full view of your neighbors, say, “Shitter was full” as many times and as loud as you want me to.

The people at that paper are beyond self-parody. They’re going to end up making people vote for Romney just to tick off the Times.

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