I got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my grubby little Ignatius J. Reilly heart. Multimillionaire gay fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana gave an interview the other day to an Italian magazine in which they said:

“We oppose gay adoptions,” they say, “The only family is the traditional one.

“No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.”

He said: “You are born to a mother and a father – or at least that’s how it should be.

“I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalogue.”

Stefano Gabbana added: “The family is not a fad. In it there is a supernatural sense of belonging.”

In an interview in 2006, Gabbana revealed in another Italian magazine that he had approached a woman to be the mother of his baby but said he struggled with the idea.

“I am opposed to the idea of a child growing up with two gay parents,” he said.

“A child needs a mother and a father. I could not imagine my childhood without my mother. I also believe that it is cruel to take a baby away from its mother.”


Elton John, the father of two no doubt extremely well adjusted children he acquired through the services of a laboratory, blew his hairpiece:

On Sunday he wrote on Instagram: “How dare you refer to my beautiful children as ‘synthetic’.”

“And shame on you for wagging your judgemental little fingers at IVF – a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfil their dream of having children.

“Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions.

Elton says he’s never going to wear Dolce & Gabbana again. Because they’re bastard people. 

Stefano Gabbana is fighting back, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

So, we have a skrillionaire elderly gay rock star fighting with skrillionaire gay fashion designers, and upsetting skrillionaire celebrities:


So let me get this straight: Courtney Love is shocked beyond the ability to feel or articulate anything because two Italian gay guys say that children need a mother and a father? And she’s prepared to burn — yes, burn — her extremely expensive D&G attire? Gosh, I wonder what she did with her John Galliano frocks after the alcoholic couturier ranted in public about his mad crush on Hitler? Granted, sympathizing with Nazism is not as bad as supporting the traditional family…

The hathos! My valve is opening and closing at maximum shutterspeed! It’s as if Boethius were ravishing Santa Battaglia out back of Casamento’s!

First they came for Brendan Eich, and I said nothing, because I browse with Google Chrome. Then they came for Dolce & Gabbana, and I said nothing, because my clothes rack is full of Lands End and L.L. Bean. …

As a trad kind of guy, I sort of feel like I need to buy something from D&G to show my sympathy, but I don’t have the scratch to afford this floral jacquard vest and bolero jacket with trimming ($6,445). As a middle-aged cisgendered heteronormative fatso, I guess I’ll wait to see where the Dockers people come down on the issue before making my fashion move.