Rod Dreher

Adam Lanza & American Exceptionalism

Aspie Life

By Rod Dreher • December 18, 2012, 4:10 PM

A reader of The League of Ordinary Gentleman website writes in to explain why despite his unusually high IQ, he has become a trucker: his Asperger’s. Excerpt:

Because the real problem all along wasn’t that I was failing where I should have succeeded. The problem was that I was trying to succeed where I was doomed to fail. I just didn’t understand that because I didn’t understand myself. And it’s not really that I was doomed to fail as an engineer; it’s just that I was doomed to fail given that I didn’t understand my true strengths and weaknesses. I didn’t know when and how to ask for help because I didn’t know why I needed help. Everyone, including myself, naturally assumed that because I could do the hard stuff like math and physics that I could do the “easy” stuff like figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do today. Everybody else seemed to have it figured out, busy working on this or that, whatever it was, while I basically… pretended. Pretended to be doing something, and hoped no one would notice. To this day I don’t really know what half of them were actually doing. Maybe they were pretending like me and were just a lot better at it.

On the loneliness of an Aspie:

But at the same time we’re rejecting normal social relationships we also crave them. It’s like you’re locked outside, with your nose pressed against the window, watching the normal happy people inside the party, like a dog who’s been banished for peeing on the carpet. When I’m home for a weekend there’s no friends for me to call and go have a beer. There’s no circle that gets together for cookouts in the summer. No holiday parties to attend. Frankly, it’s damn lonely and it puts just that much more strain on the one real relationship that I maintain, my marriage.

Posted in Neuro. Tagged Asperger's, Neuro.

31 Responses to Aspie Life

Mr. Pickwick says:

December 18, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Good post. My Aspie son is brilliant (but not in the math/science way; instead, he writes top-rate fiction). He barely graduated from high school (aced AP history, English and pol sci, but flunked Algebra twice and nearly flunked typing). He was so overwhelmed by trying to cope with high school that he didn’t have any energy left to take the SAT (if he had, I am confident that he would have landed in the top percentiles). At our urging, he attended community college for two years, but dropped out before getting his degree. He loved his professors’ lectures, but saw no point in homework, tests or having anyone else critique his writing. So he’s worked in a restaurant during the summers, delivered newspapers and moved furniture. He has no interest in degrees or achievement, and lives a spartan lifestyle. He knows that the odds of making a living from writing fiction are just about zip. Anyway, typically he doesn’t let anyone read his fiction (he writes only for his own pleasure, and has no desire to get published). Right now, he’s struggling to land a permanent, full-time blue collar job. He refuses to consider any type of office job. So long as he can spend his spare time crunching sports statistics (his obsession), he is happy doing manual labor. But getting even a blue collar job is tough, because he says very little, hates initiating contact and makes no attempt to toot his own horn.

Those who make the (considerable) effort to know him find him delightful. The family who gave him his first job (at the restaurant) were exasperated with him at first, but eventually came to worship him as The Best Employee They’d Ever Had.

Now that he’s in his mid-twenties, we really can’t afford to support him (and he desperately wants to support himself and live on his own). And yet, I’m not sure he can land a permanent, full-time job that pays enough to cover even his minimal living expenses. I’ve talked with him about the military, but fear that the regimented lifestyle and living in close quarters could be hell for an Aspie.

He likes girls and would make a devoted husband and father, but has never dated.

Honestly, I am proud of him. He’s an original thinker, and sees good in just about everyone. If we lived a century ago, I’d just find him a job in the family lumber mill or give him the family farm, and he’d be securely employed for life. But in our modern Age of the Extrovert, the odds are stacked against him.

Each Aspie’s situation is different, but the bottom line is the same: the condition complicates life considerably.
Angela says:

December 18, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Just had a phone call with my Aspie son today. Finals are almost through, he has done well, and is struggling with some depression.

That second paragraph you quote, that was the gist of most of the conversation. I’m on my way over to read the whole post. It’s heartbreaking to hear the loneliness twice today.
Jon S. says:

December 18, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Out of curiosity, since you did blurb Matthew Crawford’s book, are you suggesting truck driving is for dumb people? What does it mean that this man is a truck driver “despite” his intelligence? Given the economy, I suggest many of my college students would make more money driving a truck than so-called “knowledge work.”
Matt says:

December 18, 2012 at 6:56 pm

That’s interesting. I have quite a few problems myself. My college career was a mess, though I did graduate (largely though the continued confidence and support of my parents) and since then I’ve just kind of wafted through life without being able to find commited relationships or a satisfying career path. This is especially frusterating to me both because I want to succeed and because I’m relatively intelligent, capable and pleasent to be around and therefore there is no obvious reason for why I’m stalled. Recently I’ve been wondering if I do have a disorder of some type. I’ve seen three therapists. None have been particularly helpful, and they’ve never even thought my problems or personality warranted a diagnosis – just the problems that everyone goes through from time to time.

I’ve tried to distill the factors that have so far kept me from living into just a few common denominators. I’ve come up with two that stand out.

First, I have a very high stress response. During periods of college when I was doing well, I could continue that success and I did manage to put together a few good semesters that way. However, when I faced adversity, a rejection from a girl, a low test score or the like I quickly digressed into a negative feedback loop where failure became the norm. My psyche became a place of continued fear – of social situations, or academic challenges, – so I’m very much someone who sticks with my very conservative method of doing things. It makes it so difficult to branch out and proactively make a successful path for myself.

Secondly, I’m a disorganized, unfocused thinker. Practically, this means I’m never quite able to get things done as well as I would like. Although an interest of mine, majoring in a scientific field (biology) highlighted this weakness. Comprehension of the concepts and ideas were well within my capabilities, but anything regarding lab work often left me perplexed. Learning material involves repitition and thinking deeply and creatively about a subject and that can be done over periods of weeks so a lack of organization isn’t necessarily academically fatal. That’s not true with three hour lab blocks in which you have a short period of time to put in place a step by step protocol. And writing scientific papers was even more difficult as it require a dry, regimented and highly organized style, something that I’ve never been been able to become adept at.

Rod’s readers are a an educated bunch so I’d be curious if anyone has a tentative diagnosis. Are there any mental disorders in which disorganized thinking and a high stress response play a primary role? Even though my social weaknesses might suggest some Aspie-like traits, that doesn’t fit as my social awkwardness comes more from social fear than from any empathetic shortcomings – indeed I’d suggest I’m almost overly empathetic and my lack of socialization comes from doing things extremely conservatively so no hurt feelings could possibly result. Maybe the two problems I’ve highlighted are unrelated and I have both a mild case of attention deficit disorder and social anxiety disorder (although again, none of the three therapists I’ve talked to have suggested any of these). Anyway, I’ve exhausted a lot of options and ideas so any thoughts would be appreciated.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but it’s, in it’s own way, on topic. Like the trucker I’m a relatively smart, educated person whose stuck in a job well below his talent level – a Walgreens service clerk since 2009.
MEH 0910 says:

December 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Reality is built on a physical order, not a moral order.
Surly says:

December 18, 2012 at 8:46 pm

A really brilliant child psychologist is in my book club and because we are both dog lovers we met in a dog group. She is really careful about diagnosis, and she thinks that the Autism spectrum is overused.

She would have diagnosed Adam Lanza as schizophrenic or maybe schizotypical. She says that Aspergers or Autism spectrum kids have no harmful intent. They want to please, but can not quite figure out how. She, and our lifelong friend who directs our state’s care for the mentally ill once they land in the criminal justice system both agree that their patients are lambs among wolves.

They have to commit an awful crime before they can receive services. That makes us barbarians.
Beyng says:

December 18, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Honestly Matt? It sounds like your trying to attribute your ineptitude to a mental condition and thus absolve yourself of blame. I’m no psychiatrist (obviously), but I say this as someone who has struggled and who continues to struggle with some of the same problems you do.

I don’t doubt that you find it more difficult than some other people to be an “organized, focused thinker.” That’s unfortunate, of course, but it simply means that a) you have to work harder than some other people to be organized and focused or b) you find a job/profession/career that doesn’t put a premium on formulaic writing and rigorously organized thinking–like, say, a truck driver or Walgreens clerk.

In other words, you’re not–and I’m not–stuck in a job “well below your/my talent level” (psychiatrists do have terms for those who tend to have an overinflated opinion of their competency); you’re either doing something perfectly appropriate to your “talent level” or–and this is probably more likely–opportunities for those with your particular talents simply don’t exist in this society (Warren Buffet made an illuminating remark on this predicament when he noted that, if he were raised in rural Vietnam or some such place, even with his particular talents, he wouldn’t have become wealthy; it just so happens that capitalistic America prioritizes his fiscal genius).

Rod may not post this comment, but I don’t mean it as a personal attack. Rather, I only want to point out that not every perceived deficiency represents a diagnosable condition. In fact, I tried to bring this up in a thread on Robespierre a while back, but some folks took my remarks personally, apparently, and things got out of hand.

The point is, why wonder if you’re “certifiable”? Work with what you’ve got. It doesn’t sound like you find it oppressively difficult even to function in civil society like an Aspie, so let’s not continue to indulge contemporary America’s obsession with pathologization and categorization.
Beyng says:

December 18, 2012 at 9:07 pm

YOU’re trying to attribute*

Why is there no option to edit comments?!
Rod Dreher says:

December 18, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Again, Asperger’s is not an excuse, but knowing that it is a diagnosable condition can make it easier to deal with people as they are, and to help those who have the condition understand themselves better, and to come up with strategies for coping with life in a “neurotypical” world.

Just today we had a big mess in our house with our Aspie son, who made a very elemental error in his schoolwork, something that could compromise an entire semester’s worth of work. Without getting into too many details, it was the kind of thing that most of us would not have done. But it is completely understandable with Aspies and their logic. After seven years of living with this diagnosis, my wife and I are still capable of being surprised by the way it manifests. To someone who didn’t know anything about Asperger’s, what our son did, or rather forgot to do, looks like imbecilic negligence, or world-class laziness. Julie and I hit the roof over it — but by now we’ve learned how to deal with this stuff (or at least how *not* to deal with it), and we’re going to have to work with our son’s agreeable teachers to come up with a plan to make sure this problem, which none of us anticipated, doesn’t come up again.

Are we furious? Yes. But our son is angry at himself too. He has to learn how to live in a world that won’t always have his parents around to run interference for him and help him deal with his messes, so we have to let him fail sometimes so he can learn how to be resilient and resourceful. Compounding his problem is that he is incredibly smart and articulate, so people who don’t understand Asperger’s look at him and think there’s something wrong with his character. Not to dredge up the Robespierre debate again, but the point I believe I was trying to make there is that when we ask ourselves why was Robespierre the way he was, none of the usual explanations for power-mad dictators apply. He really did earn his name “The Incorruptible.” But people were abstractions to him; what he loved was principle, and nothing but. That doesn’t make him an Aspie, but when you read about how he had trouble looking people in the eye, and how he was socially maladroit, and cared absolutely nothing for personal enrichment (unlike most of the other revolutionaries), only his ideas and their execution … well, these things make perfect sense to people who live with Aspies.

To return to the case in this thread: for people who are undiagnosed Aspies, they could be like my other son, the kid who just had to get new eyeglasses because he was half-blind. His prescription had changed greatly over the past year since his last eye exam, but he didn’t realize how much until we got him tested. We think the reason he had his calamitous bike wreck that broke his glasses and caused his new test was because he couldn’t see the crack in the sidewalk in front of him. Similarly, undiagnosed Aspies may have no way of knowing that the world is not as they perceive it, and that they have handicaps that they might overcome, or at least compensate for, once they understand the nature of their condition.
RB says:

December 18, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Matt, sounds a lot like my brother’s anxiey disorder.
Sands says:

December 18, 2012 at 11:03 pm

“Like the trucker I’m a relatively smart, educated person whose stuck in a job well below his talent level – a Walgreens service clerk since 2009.”

I hate to pile on here, but comments like this really grate on me. If you don’t have the social and organizational skills to work a job more complicated than your current one as a service clerk at Walgreens, then maybe you really aren’t working below your talent level. Social and organizational skills are talents.

I would love to have the talent to make millions of dollars throwing a football around. In fact, I would love to have the talent to do a lot of things that I don’t have the talent to do. But I don’t, so I make a living doing what I’m capable of doing. And you know what? There’s dignity in that. And there’s dignity in your job too.
Angela says:

December 18, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Well said on your comment above, Rod. For my Aspie son, cognitive behavior therapy worked well, whereas traditional talk therapy just made him mad.

There are work arounds, and they require an excessive amount of energy and resiliency.
Matt says:

December 18, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Ya Beyng, I have no problem with your comment and think it sounds reasonable. I certainly don’t think my problems border on anything seriously wrong with me – “seriously wrong” being wholly a judgement value anyway. I didn’t start having problems socially or organizationally until high school anyway, so I can’t say my problems have always manifested themselves or that they probably have more of a genetic basis than an environmental one or one based on my own free actions. And I certainly didn’t mean to imply that I’m especially talented at anything – I’m not.

However, because I shown I’ve been capable of doing well at certain things in the past – be it in academics or socialization – in limit circumstances, it’s truly frusterating not to be able to string together consecutive days where I feel I’m being productive. It’s no fun to be stuck in a job that’s tedious and undemanding and it’s no fun to have never been in a relationship when you’re nearing 30, not to mention financially and emotionally stressful. So if you’re implying I’m looking for easy answers and at least fairly easy solutions in suggesting that I might have some kind of diagnosable condition, you’re probably right. That’s were frustration leads. I’m also really curious about personality disorders and where my own traits lie on the personality spectrum. I want to better understand myself and I think psychology can at least improve facets of that understanding.

One of the traits I find least desirable is the penchant for victimhood – that’s not how I wanted to characterize myself. Rather I want to better my own understanding about why I think and act the way I do, and a blog that highlights attempts to do the same seemed to be a valid place to ask for some insight.
Aaron Gross says:

December 19, 2012 at 12:20 am

Others have already said this, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to share intimate personal details about your (identifiable) children over the Internet. Even if your child “consents,” a child simply cannot give informed consent about this.

I know these descriptions are offered, and received, in a spirit of generosity, but they’re going to stay on the Internet forever and can be used maliciously. For instance, one’s young son years later might break up with a girlfriend or wife who will search past columns to prove to him that he was “always totally screwed up his whole life” or whatever. This is dangerous stuff.
Andrea says:

December 19, 2012 at 12:59 am

Writing about family members is an occupational hazard and I’ve annoyed some of my cousins by sharing a bit too much about family history. I do avoid writing in more than general terms about my nephews.

I sympathize with the Aspie. I have some things in common with him, though I don’t think I am diagnosable. I suppose we all have crosses to bear.
Raskolnik says:

December 19, 2012 at 2:20 am

Matt,

I would break, slightly, with some of the other commenters here and note that the capacity for “focused thinking” is very much something that can be developed through practice. Your mind is, in many ways, like a muscle: train it and it grows in strength. If you practice contemplative or meditative exercises every day, just simple things like focusing on the breath or a visual object, you will quickly find your capacity for sustained concentration (and other mental skills) increasing. I believe this is also beneficial for people with ADD/ADHD and mild-to-moderate Asperger’s.
Gian says:

December 19, 2012 at 5:23 am

Aaron Grass,
You are right that it is probably not a good idea but consent or “informed consent” of the child has nothing to do with it.

It is not Consent or even informed consent that makes an act good.
Elijah says:

December 19, 2012 at 7:21 am

Constant use of the term “Aspie” makes you sound as if you’re referring to some cutesy dog breed or mantel ornaments. Constant use of that kind of shorthand is offensive.

I know, I know – my son, my friend, I suffer…whatever.
Bryan says:

December 19, 2012 at 9:07 am

Aaron, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. In a lot of the stuff I’ve been reading, especially since the Newtown incident, this has crossed my mind several times.

I think people of my age or older, i.e. non”digital natives” who came of age during the “wild west” period of the internet sometimes have trouble grasping that there really is no such thing as anonymity on the internet anymore, or at least very little, depending on your technical literacy.

I am dumbfounded by how someone people write extensively about their children in a way that is guaranteed to “mark” them, and not in a positive way, in a very permanent, accessible medium. I see a bad moon a-risin’ for sure in that regard.
ossicle says:

December 19, 2012 at 9:27 am

Matt,

Good luck with your efforts. I think your followup post is lucid and makes a lot of sense. I realize that your salary is probably pretty low, but I recommend you research your area and see if there’s any way at all you can afford cognitive-behavioral therapy (as opposed to talk therapy). It can really change lives. (In fact, that’s what it’s for.)

On a somewhat lighter, but related and still serious note, I highly recommend this recent article from, of all places, “Cracked” magazine’s website:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Pretty darned good stuff!

-Oss
ossicle says:

December 19, 2012 at 9:32 am

Bryan,

I think you err in valuing your opinion on this matter. (“I see a bad moon a-risin’.” Who cares?)

As you say, you’re a dinosaur, and have no idea of the new expectations about privacy, self-revelation, self-history, etc. that current and coming generations have and will have. It’s a new world, with new sorts of people in it.

You (and I) have an ever-decreasing place in it, and soon enough none at all.

I doubt this will put a dent in your self-estimation, but I wanted to put it on record for you and other trigger-happy scolds.
Hector_St_Clare says:

December 19, 2012 at 9:42 am

Matt,

Thanks for your comment. A lot of it strikes home for me, and much of what you’re saying, especially about rejection, failure and negative feedback loops, is incredibly familiar to me.

Not everything- I don’t really have disorganized thinking, and I’ve always done very well academically and in lab work. I just finished up a graduate degree here, from a really good state university which is one of the best places for plant biology, and will be starting a job as a postdoc in January. But I’ve always been really on edge in social situations and in interpersonal relationships, worried about what other people will think of me, and expecting to be judged as harshly and critically as possible. I just about always expect the worst in social situations and feel a vague sense of fear and insecurity, and this feeds on itself by making me less appealing as a friend or a partner. I have some really close friends, but my success in terms of relationships has been terrible. It’s hurt me in some professional respects too, I’ve in the past been terrible at public speaking, though I’ve made a lot of progress there, and I’ve lost a lot of opportunities in life by assuming I wouldn’t be able to measure up to them.

I was just diagnosed last week at our student clinic, with a combination of generalized anxiety and social anxiety disorder. I have several physical/physiological traits correlated with anxiety disorders, including very high metabolism and some others, and I’ve had these symptoms all my life. If anything, they were much much worse in the past, though I’m probably more aware of them now. I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed from here- therapy, medication, or neither- but I do feel a lot better having this diagnosis. It gives me some confidence that all the failures in my life weren’t just the result of my own bad choices, or the result of being unlucky, that they were the result of something external to my own will that I can hopefully treat and overcome. I’m hopeful that just knowing that I have a problem, and bearing in mind my limitations, will make it easier to deal with them and to work around them.

It sounds like you might have something like the same situation, so I’d definitely recommend talking to someone. If you want to correspond, I’d be happy to- Rod has my real name and e-mail, so you can get it from him.
Hector_St_Clare says:

December 19, 2012 at 9:50 am

Re: it’s truly frusterating not to be able to string together consecutive days where I feel I’m being productive. It’s no fun to be stuck in a job that’s tedious and undemanding and it’s no fun to have never been in a relationship when you’re nearing 30, not to mention financially and emotionally stressful.

No, no it isn’t. And I’m two years older than you, so it’s even more stressful for me (and though I’m having success in terms of work right now, I’ve certainly felt work-related insecurities and stresses in the past).

Re: “seriously wrong” being wholly a judgement value anyway.

Like they say, it comes down to whether your issues (and I suspect most of us have some issues) are causing you to fall short of what you hope to achieve in life, and if you can identify specific ways in which they do so. I think they do for you- they certainly do for me. I used to be much more skeptical of the American tendency to overdiagnose people, and I was raised in a culture (South Asian) which sort of stigmatizes seeking any kind of treatment or therapy for this kind of stuff, so I’ve never been to see anyone before. But I’ve really changed my mind within the last year or so.
JohnE_o says:

December 19, 2012 at 9:56 am

Matt, as a habitué of Walgreens, I hope that you are a knowledgeable and competent service clerk as I’ve run into far too many who weren’t.
Bryan says:

December 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

Wow, ossicle, you sure seemed to care enough. Who took a dump in your wheaties this morning?

I can’t claim to know how future generations, including your own children if you have any, will view fatalistic dismissals such as yours of one’s own importance in shaping the brave new world to come, but it’s hard to believe many of them will see it as a solid justification for parents to go broadcasting the personal lives and psychological histories of their young children all over the internet.

But hey, don’t let that slow down your own personal catharsis. Get well soon.
ossicle says:

December 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

Bryan,

Your reply is hilarious in its complete proof & demonstration of utter certitude, lack of humility, and lack of curiosity. Enjoy your time as best you can.

-O

[Note from Rod: OK, guys, enough. Move on. -- RD]
Mater Udo says:

December 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

I know I’m fighting much of the Asperger community on this one, but I HATE HATE HATE the term “Aspie”. It’s diminutive and insulting; puts me in mind of one of those small yappy dogs that bites you on the ankle after it pees on the carpet.
I wish we could agree to take a page from the book of Robison, and just say “Asperger.”
Blairburton says:

December 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm

“She says that Aspergers or Autism spectrum kids have no harmful intent. They want to please, but can not quite figure out how. She, and our lifelong friend who directs our state’s care for the mentally ill once they land in the criminal justice system both agree that their patients are lambs among wolves. ”

As the sister of a woman with severe autism, I have to say that I think this psychologist is full of it. My sister, whose disorder has been present since birth, is in a word mean, with no empathy and no scruples. She used to twist our elderly mother’s arm so that Mother’s shoulder, that had been shattered in a fall, would cause terrible pain so my sister could get her own way. She is quite verbal, and I can tell you that it is manifestly obvious that she wants to please no one but herself. You can argue that my sister doesn’t have autism, but again, it’s been present since birth, and schizophrenia normally manifests itself in adolescence. Of course all these psychiatric diagnoses are based upon a range of symptoms rather than any physical tests, and autism itself was once called childhood schizophrenia.

I am reminded of arguments that I, a chemistry major, used to have with a friend who was a psych major, about whether psychology was a hard science. It isn’t.
Mary Russell says:

December 19, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Both my husband and I probably would have been diagosed Aspie had we been born later. I’ve always struggled socially, as has he, and we both feel lucky to have found each other. We have two autistic children, and multiple odd and reclusive family members on both sides of the family.

So I sympathize with this author, and know intuitively what he is going through. One thing I would say, though, is that just because Aspies don’t have the social intelligence that others have doesn’t mean they can’t have meaningful friendships. It just takes a whole lot more effort and stress, and a willingness to learn from one’s mistakes. Intelligent people can learn what another person may be thinking/feeling based on trial and error over time. And setting aside one evening per week to make calls, write social e-mails, ask a friend to come over for dinner, goes a long way toward making and keeping friendships. Just because these things aren’t done naturally doesn’t mean they can’t be done at all.
Glaivester says:

December 20, 2012 at 9:47 am

Blairburton:

Are you saying that people with Asperger’s do, in general, have harmful intent, or just that they run the full range like everyone else?
laughinghelps2 says:

December 30, 2012 at 9:32 pm

my hubby has aspergers, along with anxiety, depression & obsessive conpulsive issues – he wasn’t diagnosed until we had been married for ten years – since he is a brilliant scientist/engineer with many published patents, and has always been shy, i never thought in terms of him ‘having something’ – i was just confused at our continual lack of communication in our marriage

finally our family doctor, while seeing us for my hubby’s occasional depression – sent him to a professional who diagnosed “aspergers syndrome” – he has since been diagnosed by many other doctors (hoping to ‘not have it’?) but not one person, other than his parents, has said he doesn’t have aspergers

i had never heard of the condition before – I’ve spent the last ten years studying everything i can find about this syndrome – i’ve been writing a blog since last spring and it has helped me cope with many frustrations i’ve had with our marriage

since we are a partnership & i am skilled at socialization, it really doesn’t matter for us as a couple that he doesn’t have social skills – i’ve learned to never ask him questions that i don’t want the absolute truth about (“honey, how do i look in this dress” NEVER comes out of my lips!) – sometimes i have to physically stop him from making comments in public or sidetrack him after he’s over-talked his personal interest subject – but i try to be his helpmate, not his parent

personally, i am not convinced that aspergers syndrome is part of the autism spectrum – but i certainly am no dr/ph.d. expert…