Here’s a photo of the remains of the king cake we bought at Whole Foods today:
The little plastic baby is phthalate-free, and comes with instructions on how to deploy him safely. Lord have mercy, that’s Whole Foods for you. SWPLs hate they phthalates. Though I missed the umami goodness of phthalate essence, it was, in fact, quite possibly the best king cake I’ve ever eaten. Happy Mardi Gras, people.
AnotherBeliever says: I heart phthalate-free Jesus.
Sam M says: I am sure it was good. But isn’t a Whole Foods King Cake on Mardi GRAS kind of like Walmart brand whiskey on St. Patrick’s Day? And wouldn’t the latter be especially weird if actually purchased and consumed in Ireland?
Lulu says: Sam, I don’t get your objection. The Whole Foods Kings’ Cake must be made locally; it’s not sold nationally at Whole Foods.
Anduril says: it was, in fact, quite possibly the best king cake I’ve ever eaten
You ate it?! I thought you were supposed to hang these things on your door. The plastic baby was probably the only part of the cake that was fit for human consumption.
Lulu says: The baby is our Lord Jesus Christ: if he ain’t phthatlate free, who is?
Oh those crazy white people with their descriptive, humorous labeling and warnings about endocrine disruptors and choking hazards.