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A David Lynch Birthday Cake

Pastry and psychosexual horror
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Today is my wife Julie’s 40th birthday. I am cooking her a special dinner tonight, and her cake will be one of her favorites: Julia Child’s reine de Saba (Queen of Sheba) cake. But I wanted the kids to be able to make a cake for her that they would appreciate. Last night in the supermarket, I saw the above monstrosity. Naturally I thought of psychosexual horror, and imagined that this is the kind of birthday cake Uncle Chuckie would serve. Julie is too young to have seen the David Lynch movie, so the joke is mine, all mine!

If I serve it with Pabst Blue Ribbon, they will all be mystified. But you and I will know, won’t we preciousssss? And if you don’t know, well, here’s the PG version:

And here’s the NSFW version.

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