fbpx
Politics Foreign Affairs Culture Fellows Program

Mono Miserabilism

A viral Holy Saturday
IMG_5649

Good morning this Holy Saturday. I’m sorry to tell you that my mono is getting a bit worse. Just woke up after 11 hours of sleep, and am exhausted. Going through night sweats, burning eyes, headaches, and all the all-too-familiar mono symptoms from before. There’s really nothing doctors, or I, can do for this, aside from staying hydrated, and taking lots of vitamin D. When I had it for three years, starting in 2012, it was all related to intense stress, according to my rheumatologist. It only went away when I resolved the thing that was stressing me out (How Dante Can Save Your Life is about that process; it’s not a book of literary criticism, but more a book of Christian literary self-help.) In the previous case, the stress was over family relations, especially my relationship with my father. This time, it’s A FREAKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC!

I have no control over that, but I do have control over how I respond to it. That was the lesson my therapist gave me in reacting to my family situation years ago, and the same lesson my priest gave me at the time. I’m trying to figure out how to employ that truth in this situation, but so far, I’m coming up blank. The thing is, I do not feel anxious. I really don’t. Part of that is that my faith is stronger now than it was then. But truth to tell, part of it is that I am privileged enough not to have my job and everything I own at risk right now. That may come later, but for now, we are okay. In my personal case, I think I must simply be internalizing worry about the entire world, and the worry is deeper down in myself than I can reach. I can only be grateful that I support my family with a job that I can do from home, indeed from my sick bed (where I am now — I went back to bed); if I had to do anything physical, even just going to an office, it would be really hard.

Above, a selfie of scruffy me, the practiced miserabilist, taken last night, with my mononucleosis virus particle plushy, which my wife and kids got for me the last time I was sick with this. The eyelashes are a reference to mono being the “kissing disease.” The pins are what my kids did to it last time, as if it were a voodoo doll, and that’s how they attacked the disease. Heh.

… And, I’m back, here in the late afternoon. Went back to bed after typing that, have been there all day. I had hoped to do some actual blogging, but I’m just too tired. Sorry. I can’t even focus on a book right now, which is driving me nuts. Just a few hours until Pascha — a sad Pascha, a Pascha at home, a Pascha without the liturgy, and the shouts of “Christ is risen!”, and the feasting at two a.m. — but still Pascha. Glory to God for it.

In that photo, by the way, you are looking at a beard that has not been trimmed for the entirety of Lent. You’re welcome, ya sinners!

Advertisement

Comments

Want to join the conversation?

Subscribe for as little as $5/mo to start commenting on Rod’s blog.

Join Now