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Cold Comfort

I recently spoke with a TAC contributor from Maine. The sun is high, the days are long, and the population is enjoying its usual summer boost. But in his hometown, conversations keep circling back to an unseasonable subject: kerosene. In the middle of July, people are worried about winter. Even with demand low, heating oil […]

I recently spoke with a TAC contributor from Maine. The sun is high, the days are long, and the population is enjoying its usual summer boost. But in his hometown, conversations keep circling back to an unseasonable subject: kerosene. In the middle of July, people are worried about winter. Even with demand low, heating oil prices are setting new records—topping $5/gallon in parts of a state where winter doesn’t loosen its grip until May. Nervous Mainers have done the math, and this year they can’t afford to keep the cold out.

Thankfully, John McCain’s top economic adviser has an answer. Former Sen. Phil Gramm tells the Washington Times that this “nation of whiners” is imagining its difficulties. Disregard all those downturned arrows: “this is a mental recession.”

Now as the vice chair of Swiss banking giant UBS, Mr. Gramm is probably too busy to shop for groceries or fill up his own gas tank. Maybe he hasn’t tried to sell a house in a stalled real-estate market or checked on his retirement account lately. He does, however, manage to watch the news and is convinced that grim reports are a media concoction. “Misery sells newspapers,” he says. “Thank God the economy is not as bad as you read in the newspaper every day.”

So there’s the solution to July’s deep chill: stop reading and think positive. Clearly Mr. Gramm is more in touch with the American experience than a bunch of paranoiacs making up a recession. While they’re hunkering down in their cold, devalued homes, he’s thinking big: the interview closes with a pitch for immigration “reform” including “no limits on scientific and technical workers and a generous sized guest worker program.” Since the recession isn’t real, we’ve got jobs to spare. Just make sure the new arrivals know to settle someplace warm.

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